Famous and funny alcohol quotes

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

American writer and satirist, Mark Twain was well known for his wit. As well as being a popular writer, he was also in demand as a speaker, performing what would now be considered stand-up comedy.

Twain’s wit can be seen in a huge number of the quotes attributed to him, these include: “I always take Scotch whisky at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.” And: “Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.”

8 Responses to “Famous and funny alcohol quotes”

  1. Brian J. Sullivan - binghamton, NY says:

    the alcohol
    would never
    let me see
    that the
    drunk, sick
    ugly
    man was me

  2. Ian Campbell says:

    An Irish friend, Ned Fitzgerald from Dublin, having been caught for drink driving said at the time “If you can’t drink and drive you shouldn’t be on the road “

  3. Mike Smith says:

    While waiting at the intersection turning into Jupiters casino on the Gold Coast of queensland many years ago, the two young kiwi lads who had probably consumed too much were pulled over by the police for not proceeding for a green arrow. The policeman asked “What’s wrong lad, didn’t you see the arrows?”. My friend replied “Arrows Officer? I didn’t even see the injuns!”.

  4. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. another WC Fields

  5. Adam Greenberg says:

    A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her

  6. tj john says:

    and now they lay me down to sleep a 40 ouncer at my feet and if i die before i wake tell my friends i drank it straight

  7. Never thought that people can utter such amazing quotes while they are drunk.

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