Rogues banned from London pub to star in new book

A rogues gallery of characters banned from the ‘Half Moon’ pub in south London, including ‘Fat Paul’, ‘Staring Pervert’ and ‘Flat Cap Coke Fiend’ are to be immortalised in a new book of short stories out next year.

Entitled ‘Still Barred’ the book is being published by Unbound and reached its funding target earlier this month.

It was inspired by a picture (left) that did the rounds on social media last year when singer songwriter Rumer tweeted a picture of those banned from the Herne Hill pub by order of the establishment.

And what a list it was. Jason, Adam the Deaf Guy, Miller, One Armed Keith, Mickey Two Suits, The Glaswegian, That Blonde B*itch, The Ginger Drunk Tw*at called Angus, Crazy Linda, Tall Chavvy Fighting Idiot of Old and more, 23 names that read “like a list of the drunk Avengers,” said GQ or the cast of a British gangster movie and dripping with literary potential.

The list was quickly spotted by Unbound’s co-founder and chief publishing officer, John Mitchinson, who put out a call for authors to write a short story based on the fictional exploits of each of the people named (though who knows what ‘The Glaswegian’ might have done in their time?).

The result is a 25 story anthology (including tales of the presumably long suffering landlord and the pub itself) which seek to imagine why ‘Short Young Balding Usually Nice Bloke with Beard’ was barred; why Keith (apparently misspelled ‘Kieth’ on the original list and kept that way) only had one arm; why Mickey had two suits and what Gus and his mate Mark did to get chucked out.

The book was effectively commissioned “in an afternoon”, according to Unbound.

Among the authors contributing to the anthology are BBC Radio 3 broadcaster Matthew Sweet, authors Nikesh Shukla (The Good Immigrant) and Lissa Evans (Their Finest) and Jason Heazley a co-writer of the Ladybird books for grown-ups.

A full list of the writers and their subject can be seen below:


Jason Marie Phillips
Fat Paul Matthew Sweet
Gus & his mate Mark Lissa Evans
Staring Pervert Stuart Evers
Crazy Linda Cathy Rentzenbrink
South African Cadging Scammer Andy Miller
Aurora Tiffany Murray
Short Young Balding Usually Nice Bloke with Beard Nikesh Shukla
Julia Tant Anna James
Flat Cap Coke Fiend Paul Bassett Davies
One Armed Kieth Matthew Adams
Tall Chavvy Fighting Idiot of Old Sarah Franklin
The Ex Con Chav Twat C.M. Taylor
The Glaswegian Nicholas Royle
Mickey Two Suits Rich Lennon
Shaun, Still Barred Jennifer Harvey
Adam the Deaf Guy Niall Slater
That Blonde Bitch Emma Townsend
Danny Miller/Danny Partridge Simon Wroe
Vitriolic Queen Anne Miller
The Ginger Drunk Twat called Angus Ed Davey
Rob Roe Rachael De Moravia
Miller Kit Eaton
The Landlord Lloyd Shepherd
The Pub Jason Hazeley

The book has no exact release date as yet but it is hoped the launch party will be in the recently refurbished Half Moon – although whether any of the real life characters will be allowed back in isn’t known.

For more on the book click here.

2 Responses to “Rogues banned from London pub to star in new book”

  1. Kelvin Haydon says:

    If we’re commenting on spelling mistakes I think that “Rob Roe” should be “Rob Roy” Ex teacher and photographer (now deceased). Barred from a few pubs in the local area:)

  2. Kelvin Haydon says:

    See earlier post – I believe this is the Rob Roy in question .

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