Is Piña Colada cheese a bigger travesty than pineapple on a pizza?

Aldi is launching a new booze-inspired cheese range this month, with some pretty out-there flavours.

Depending on your sensibilities, the new boozy cheese range from Aldi may be one of the biggest blasphemies known to mankind. Or a way of making cheese on toast far more interesting.

Aldi’s ‘Emporium’ cheese collection hits supermarket shelves on 25 August, with all three flavours inspired by the nation’s favourite alcoholic drinks.

The cheeses do not, in fact, contain any actual alcohol. However, the flavours are all designed to reflect summer cocktails. And quite possibly with the intention of irking gastronomes around the world.

Take the Piña Colada Wensleydale, for instance, which is blended with diced pineapples and peaches, and coconut flavouring. Or the Peach Bellini Wensleydale, infused with “fruity Prosecco” flavours, as well as peach jam and some diced peaches.

These pale in comparison when faced with the potential abomination of a creamy Espresso Martini Wensleydale, studded with chocolate-coated coffee beans.

The quirky new cheeses could give rise to such Frankendishes as Espresso Martini mac ‘n’ cheese, Piña Colada cheeseburgers or Peach Bellini cheese and pickle sarnies. Suggested wine pairings not available.