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Top April Fools 2017

April Fools Day falling on a Saturday this year didn’t stop the drinks industry from pulling out all the stops.

db takes a look at the best hoaxes with some proving to be surprisingly believable.

Pinkster Gin unveils £10,000 Diamond Edition bottling

Pinkster Gin pretended to bring out the bling this year with the release of a super premium gin, inspired by the sale of The Pink Star diamond. Edible gold leaf was added to the raspberry-infused £10,000 bottling, all topped off with a diamond encrusted stopper.

Will Holt, marketing director at Pinkster, stated that the £10k gin actually presented excellent value for money.

“This colossal rock is expected to exceed £48 million at auction, making our £10,000 bottle seem extremely affordable.

“The gin may be temporary but diamonds are forever.”

With the world’s most expensive gin crown (at £5,000 for 9 litres) currently residing with Surrey distillery Silent Pool, Pinkster’s hoax probably fooled a few!

Hush Heath grafts grape vines to apple trees: the Grapple is born!

Backbreaking grape picking is a thing of the past, or is it? Hush Heath claimed that grafting grape vines to apple branches results in no unnecessary bending and a ‘healthier and happier workforce.’

Cathy Turner, who heads up the vineyard team, said: “Picking grapes from apple trees will not only alleviate my back pains, but will also help with my posture.  The whole team is thrilled at the prospect.”

The Kentish winery were quick to recognise the possible naming challenge, reporting that ‘a DEFRA senior employee was heard to mumble “we are still ‘grappling’ with the issue of English wine PDOs and we have now been thrown this curved ball.”

Hush Heath Estate wine producer Richard Balfour-Lynn commented: “We realised that some of our fruit pickers were getting bad backs from bending and stretching to reach our vines and so we wanted to help them. It occurred to us that grafting grape vines to our apple trees was the simple solution. Our team is happy; the fruit is ripe and delicious. So ultimately everyone will be a winner.”

Offlicence News: The Cheap Wine Show targets

Tapping into the Brexit uncertainty, Offlicence News claimed that The Cheap Wine show, taking place in early September, would ‘enable supermarket buyers and discounters to access last minute bargains that will test the limits of the government ban on selling alcohol below the cost of duty and VAT.’

Whilst it recognised that the show was likely to be criticised, organiser John Camden Neild remained optimistic, after being “inundated” with enquiries from producers.

“We have wine shows for just about everything these days, from smaller importers, through orange wines, biodynamics, organics, malleables, crunchy wines, and even, this year, bulk wine, so why not this?

“These are challenging times for everyone in the industry and anything that helps them to give consumers a bargain at such times should be welcomed.

“Brexit has created uncertainty for consumers who don’t know what their wallets will feel like in a couple of years time, and for everyone in the supply chain.”


Robinsons uncover Swishing Tail: An innovative new brew for Shire horses

Robinsons Brewery were horsing around this April Fools with the release of the ‘newly developed animal friendly ale today, invented solely for their much-adored Shire horses; Hopnik, Wizard and Bobek.’

Described as ‘straw-coloured’ Swishing Tail has ‘rich flavours of hay and strong roasted malt, accompanied by hints of sweet carrot and a twist of swede root.’

Helen Preece, ‘head horse person’ for Robinsons Brewery, said: “Our boys are good loyal workers! Whether it’s representing Robinsons at regional events, weddings and shows, making guest appearances at pub openings, or just keeping up appearances exercising in and around Stockport, the boys earn their keep. And we believe, like any staff member, they too deserve a drink after a hard day’s work. Well, now they can! We’re overjoyed to produce a beer in their honour, and can’t wait for them to taste their very own version of the nation’s favourite drink – beer – for the first time!”

Future flavours in the range will include banana, peach and even polo mint.

Tennent’s flight-size cans

Sick of downing your beer before going through security? Tennent’s have ensured that you no longer have to abandon or swig your can of lager, but can instead enjoy it at your leisure.

A spokesman told the Glasgow Evening Times: “We are pleased to announce our brand new Flight Size 100ml Tennent’s cans which are now available at all good Scottish airports. Ideally shaped and sized for your hand luggage, the quantity must fit inside one of those wee transparent bags, mind. Thank us later.”

Groupon launches gin spa experience

Given that Groupon UK recently announced the launch of prosecco-flavoured nail polish, this April Fools was rather too believable. Offering customers the ‘ultimate spa experience’ the steam used in the gin sauna is ‘infused with a high quality gin that contains botanicals including coriander seeds, orris root and cassia bark.’

Visitors to London-based spa, Skin & Tonic, wear a ‘zesty lemon eye mask’ as they relax, but are advised to enjoy the sauna responsibly.

Jim Beans

Kentucky bourbon company Jim Beam expressed its frustration that, ‘after making bourbon for over 220 years,’ some people are still calling it Jim Bean. Problem solved: Jim Beans, ‘aged one day in a tin can.’

One twitter user (@DLisshus) said they were ‘holding out for the limited edition cask strength, thank you very much!’

Richard Corrigan’s compost and hybrid allotment scheme

Corrigan’s in Mayfair apparently will install two 450-litre compost bins to support the soon-to-be-opened Dickie’s Bar. Richard Corrigan is particularly keen to bring a farm to Mayfair.  With ‘the natural compost aromas sweeping through the entrance’ the allotments are intended ‘to grow hybrid and exotic fruit and vegetables such as a beetberry, cucanana and mangomato’ to be used in cocktails. The local council, however, had other ideas.

Fortunately, the ‘local residents have ploughed together a petition to save the allotment in dismissal of the council, raising their trowels in unity.’



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