Jeremy Clarkson lays into cork-sniffing ‘wine bores’
Former Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson has laid into wine bores that double decant their prized bottles and revealed he’s a lover of rosé and Blue Nun.
In his latest column for The Times, Clarkson rejoiced at the proclamation by wine writer Martin Isark that the need to let wine breathe was “bunkum” and out of date; a view backed up by wine author Giles MacDonogh.
“Some experts have decided that the practice of opening a bottle of wine a couple of hours before you start drinking it is old fashioned nonsense.
“And that there’s nothing wrong with removing the cork with a screwdriver and necking it on your way home from the off-licence,” he wrote.
In the column Clarkson professed to know “absolutely nothing” about wine, despite having enjoyed regularly drinking it for the last 30 years.
He goes on to explain that his father instilled in him a loathing of glass-swilling, cork-sniffing wine bores that pretend they know about the subject to appear sophisticated.
“I know lots of people who pretend they know about wine. They post pictures of what they’re having for supper, and their friends reply, making appreciative noises.
“The wine cellar has always been a thing in big houses. But now it lives in the kitchen and it has glass doors so that visitors can peer inside and swoon with amazement at the man’s impeccable breeding and knowledge,” Clarkson wrote.
“I’m having a glass-fronted wine fridge built in the kitchen of my new house and I’m going to fill it with Blue Nun. At parties I shall serve a special version sprinkled with bits of gold leaf, which sparkles when you shake the bottle,” he added.
The motoring enthusiast is particularly irked by wine lovers that like to show off and spend ages faffing around with their beloved bottles before serving them. “I go to their houses and wait while they slowly read the label and then even more slowly pull out the cork before slowly pouring the contents into a decanter.
“At this point you might think there’s no more waiting to be done, but you’d be wrong because a proper wine bore will, after an hour or so, pour the wine back into the bottle before serving,” he wrote.
While laying into wine bores, Clarkson revealed he’s a rosé lover. “I love to ingest vast quantities of wine the sunshine, and while I prefer the pink kind, I’m perfectly happy with a pint of white at lunchtime and a balloon of red before bed,” he said.