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In dubious science news, researchers from New Zealand and the UK have published a study in the Medical Journal of Australia’s Christmas issue which they say proves that Ian Fleming’s fictional character James Bond has “a severe chronic alcohol problem”.

The “scientists” from the University of Otago and Oxford University engaged in the taxing pursuit of watching 24 James Bond films in order to describe the patterns of alcohol use.

Charting the change over six decades, the report noted that Bond has a total of 109 ‘drinking events’, with a mean of 4.5 events per film. This, they noted, meant that his blood alcohol level was around 0.36 g/dL, which is “sufficient to kill some people”. His peak binge totalled 24 units of alcohol which equated to 6 vesper Martinis, shaken not stirred.

To be fair, it’s a stressful job.

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