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Top 10 anti-Valentine’s Day drinks

If the thought of Valentine’s Day fills you with a sense of dread and despair then these are the drinks for you.

This Friday couples everywhere will be celebrating their love, possibly over a glass of Champagne or sparkling rosé.

If you’re looking for a romantic night in then why not take a look at Valentine’s wine recommendations in the UK press this week. 

But for those after an alternative tipple take a look through our favourite anti-Valentine’s cocktails and drinks.

Scroll through for 10 of our favourites…

10. Love on the Rocks

This classic cocktail is one to enjoy this Valentine’s whether you love life has taken a tumble or not.


2 dashes angostura bitters
15ml green apple liqueur
1 tsp honey syrup
50ml bourbon
Twist orange zest to garnish
Mix all the ingredients together in a tumbler with a handful of ice.
Garnish with the twist of orange zest.

9. Monkey Gland

A juicy cocktail with a twist of absinthe, the Monkey Gland was the invention of Harry McElhone, owner of Harry’s New York Bar in Paris. He claimed the name was inspired by the 1920s surgeon Serge Voronoff who was known to carry out experiments which involved grafting monkey testicle tissue, or monkey glands, on to human testicles which he believed couple help prevent ageing. 


50ml gin
25ml orange juice
5ml grenadine
1 dash absinthe
Orange slice for garnish

Swirl a dash of absinthe in a chilled cocktail glass to coat it, then dump any excess liqueur
Pour the other ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice cubes and shake well.
Strain into the cocktail glass and garnish with the orange slice or a burnt orange peel.

8. Polygamy Porter

Brewed by Utah-based Wasatch Brewery, this 4% brown ale with notes of chocolate won a silver medal in 2006 from the North American Brewers’ Association.

It carries the tagline “why have just one?”

7. Bitch, south Australia

This is a 100% Grenache from R Wines by winemakers Chris Ringland and Lisa Wetherell who use fruit from the Barossa Valley in South Australia.

6. Playboy wine


What better way to denounce Valentine’s Day than with a wine marketed by the king of playboys himself, Hugh Hefner. Playboy launched its own wine club in 2012 offering US-based wine lovers exclusive selections from around the world, sourced from boutique vineyards.

5. Cupids Broken Arrow

Pour scorn on cupid with this cranberry-based vodka cocktail this Valentine’s Day.


75ml Three-O Mango Vodka
15ml Triple Sec
25ml cranberry juice
Splash of fresh lime juice


Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a glass. Garnish with a cherry.

4. Blood and Sand

This classic cocktail made with scotch whisky was created in 1920s London and named after the 1922 bullfighter film, Blood and Sand, starring Rudolph Valentino.


25ml Scotch whisky
20ml Cherry Heering liqueur
20ml sweet vermouth
20ml fresh orange juice
1 maraschino cherry, to garnish


Combine scotch, Cherry Heering, vermouth, and orange juice in a cocktail shaker filled with ice and shake.

Strain into a chilled coupe glass and top with cherry.

3. Young’s Dirty Dick’s Ale

Young & Co.’s Dirty Dick’s Ale is an amber ale named after the company’s pub in Bishopsgate, London – Dirty Dicks. The 4.1% ale is described by Youngs as having a “strong fruit note in the short aroma. Mixed malts give a spicy malt loaf base with tones of tart redcurrant fruit. Finish is malty with dry berry fruit.” 

2. Duck Fart

You can’t get much more unromantic than a duck fart cocktail. Combining Kahlua, whiskey and Irish cream liqueur in a shot glass, the duck fart is arguably as far away from an evening of sophisticated romance as you can get.


15ml Irish cream liqueur
15ml Whisky
15ml Kahlua


Mix all the ingredients together and then pour into a shot glass.

1. Donkey Piss Tequila

Taking the top spot is the dubiously named Donkey Piss Tequila – guaranteed to keep love at bay. The ultra premium Tequila was created by Juan Jose Garcia Gomez, on his family’s agave farm outside of the Mexican village of Peche’, and released by drinks distributor Libation Nation in 2013.

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