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Monday 6 July 2015

Hamptons “dangerously” short of rosé

29th August, 2014 by Rupert Millar

Stocks of rosé in the Hamptons are apparently “dangerously low” and may not last long enough to cover the coming Labour Day weekend.

Rose GenericAccording to the New York Post, the supply of luxury rosé such as Domaine Ott and Château d’Esclans in the prestigious New York community which regularly plays host to holidaying celebrities, the super-wealthy and, this year, President Barack Obama as well, is close to running out.

The paper reported: “We hear rumblings that restaurants and wine shops are low on local favorite Wölffer Estate, as well as imports like Domaines Ott and Chateau d’Esclans’ Whispering Angel, because the summering hordes have been tirelessly swilling all season long.”

All that remains in stock at Wölffer Estate is the 2013 Rosé but one sales rep gave a grave warning to the paper: “We are getting very low, so it’s hard to say how much longer we’ll have it.”

The Hamptons at the eastern-most edge of Long Island, NY, is comprised of secluded villages and hamlets around Southampton and East Hampton.

With some of the most expensive residential properties in the whole of the US, it is historically the most popular summer resort in the northeast for America’s elite.

This is not the first time a holiday-destroying shortage has ruined the prospects of garden parties and barbecues across the region, in 2012 rosé stocks went so low that some stores had to limit customers to just four bottles each.

As if matters couldn’t get any worse, as Obama is spending the coming weekend in the area the increased security means that America’s rich and shameless won’t be able to fly their sea planes to their sea-side mansions as all non-POTUS aircraft have been grounded.

This negates Dr Vino’s otherwise highly sensible idea that the huge gardens in the area could be used as emergency drop zones for parcels of the pink stuff to be parachuted in.

All in all it seems set to be the annus horribilis for the Hamptons jet-set. A guide on how best to beat the drought can be found here.

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