Curtis McMillan
The views expressed in db Reader do not represent the views of the drinks business.

Christmas Wish List

19th December, 2012 by Curtis McMillan

Dear Santa, this is my 2012 Christmas wish list.

Letters to Santa MailboxA few days ago I was walking in a mall and thinking about what to write this week…

As many of you already know this is the Christmas season and it’s a wonderful time of year – more so if you’re young enough to not own a credit card.

After pushing over people to get gifts, I stumbled upon an area in the mall I don’t go anymore due to my age. This area is reserved for parents and small children, and I’m neither, but due to the growing number of small children in my family I was forced back into this darkest of areas in the mall.

Outside of the gnashing of teeth I found myself mesmerized by the red mailbox for children’s wish list to Santa. This got me thinking about how much I miss the youthful act of doing research and building my own wish list out of the Sears Christmas catalogue.

I then realised that, as I’ve got my own column, why not just do it now.

So, without wasting any more time, this is my 2012 Christmas wish list:

Dear Santa,

For starters I would like you to talk with all the head executives at Pernod Ricard, Diageo, and William Grant and Sons. They have all vowed to spend millions of dollars building new single malt distilleries in Scotland and they can’t seem to stop putting them in the highland region. Maybe they could do me a favour and build one or two in the lowlands? I’m not talking about another single grain manufacturing plant but a real single malt distillery so I have more options.

Speaking of single grain can we also get distribution in the United States?

You may think we don’t like single grain whiskey but we do and, even if you haven’t had it yet, you will like it too. Just trust me.

I would like for people to stop asking me what vodka to buy or what’s the best whiskey. It’s a matter of personal taste, or, in the case of vodka none at all.

north-british-1963-45-year-old-signatory-bottling-whiskyAlso, please ask all bourbon manufacturers to stop selling flavoured whiskeys. It all taste gross and it cheapens your brand. I’m ok with trying out finishing like the Angels Envy Port finished bourbon.

So this year maybe try adding a new wood not just more honey. Maybe bourbon manufacturers can build me a Sherry finished bourbon before next Christmas?

Also Santa, I think you should hire a few new elves to work at the Alcohol and Tax Trade Bureau label approval division in the United States. I’m sick of inconsistencies and lack of transparency at TTB and Lord knows they could use the help.

Santa, I really need distribution in Massachusetts for Corsair whiskey; I’m dying to sample the brand and it can’t come fast enough.

I would also like to ask for a few more bottlings of Japanese single malt. Okay Nikka, you got an importer, now let’s get this show on the road.

Finally, I would like peace on earth and an investor for my distillery.

Yours always,

Curtis, the kid with enough coal to run the stills at Glendronach.

P.S. I was also going to ask for a pony but if you can get half of this list under my Christmas tree I would be more than overjoyed.

 

One Response to “Christmas Wish List”

  1. Christopher says:

    Better than a pony, how about a bottle of White Horse? That reminds me …. Many years ago I popped into a famous pub in Devon. They had the biggest range of whiskies at the time in the South West (possibly the UK). With such a long list of whisky/ey on offer I simply could not make up my mind, so whilst cogitating I asked for a shot of Long John. After searching furiously in the back, the barman could not find any. He was not amused and thought I had tried to pick the one whisky they did not have. It was just a random idea. Psychic or what?
    Anyway, a termite walks into a pub and asks “Is the bartender here?”
    Merry Christmas.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Please note that comments are subject to our posting guidelines in accordance with the Defamation Act 2013. Posts containing swear words, discrimination, offensive language and libellous or defamatory comments will not be approved.

Subscribe to our newsletters

ViVAS Wine - Category Development Manager

ViVAS
Harlow and Stowmarket or Salisbury, UK

Fine Wine Logistics Coordinator

IG Wines
London, GB

Brand Ambassador East Coast USA - Ableforth’s

Maverick Drinks
New York - field-based, USA

Brand Ambassador West Coast USA - Ableforth’s

Maverick Drinks
San Francisco / Los Angeles - field-based, USA

Global Travel Retail Manager

Maverick Drinks
London, UK

Portfolio Ambassador - Europe

Maverick Drinks
North West Europe - field-based, UK

Senior Partner Manager - Grocery

Maverick Drinks
London/Field Based, UK

Sales Executive

Woolf Sung Ltd
London

Trade Marketing Manager - Maverick Drinks

Maverick Drinks
London / Kent

Business Development Executive Central London

William Grant & Sons UK
London

Crus Bourgeois du Médoc 2015 Official Selection Tasting

London,United Kingdom
21st Sep 2017

The City Wine Show

London,United Kingdom
22nd Sep 2017

Almaviva 2015 Vintage and Vertical Tasting

London,United Kingdom
28th Sep 2017
Click to view more

Global Chardonnay Masters 2017

Deadline : 29th September 2017

The Global Riesling Masters 2017

Deadline : 29th September 2017

Click to view more

Champagne Masters 2017

The only Champagne blind tasting in the UK, the competition will reward the best wines in the following categories:

The Global Rosé Masters 2017

With wines from the palest of pink to almost ruby red, bone dry to almost cloyingly sweet, reductively handled to barrel-aged, as well as gently spritzy to fully sparkling.

Click to view more